Sunday, March 14, 2010

10:31 PM

I HATE THIS FEELING OF VULNERABILITY, AND I HATE YOU.

but one word... one word, and my conviction will vanish... and I’ll be at your mercy once again.

Hello, again :)

10:12 PM

It's been a long long time since I last wrote anything here. It pains my chest upon reading some of my blog posts. So I promised myself not to write anything sad and painful today.

You're like a dear friend to me, bloggie. And I don't want you to think I only confide to you when I'm in pain.

I'm gonna blog again. :) Don't be jealous bloggie, ha? kasi i'm planning to sign up for tumblr. I missed blogging!

I love love love em! Guess who's missing in the picture? Yehes. We're so kulang. Wala si Xy and Ces. I just miss the old times.. yung tawa lang ng tawa and walang iniisip. Well, there are no things here on earth that is constant. Camille has a baby now. She's more matured and she's has changed a lot. Boo's still the same, only a lil bit more responsible now. Labs, I don't know. I'm happy we're still friends after ll this time. <3 :)

I miss miss miss surrounding myself with these people. I feel safe and comfortable. Like nothing really matters, except our friendship. :)

The power of X

Monday, November 23, 2009

8:41 PM

Why is there so much hatred in her?
Why is she so envious with lots of things?
Why does she need to lie?
Why is she pretending?
Why does she seem so unhappy?
Why do people hate her so much?
How come she still have friends despite her deceits?
How could she come up with such evilness?

I think envy was the most compelling cause of her unhappiness.

[I get envious sometime, i admit. But not to the point that I rejoice of get pleasure from someone else's misfortunes.]

I guess people need a bad ass friend. A friend who they can talk about when she's not around. A friend who uses them and uses her too in their own convenience.

What would you do if...
...your friend call you names behind your back and calls you "Bes" when you're together?
...your friend lies to you and the people around you all the F-ing time?
... your friend pretends to be someone she's not in other people and you know it, and then threatens you if you speak the truth?
... you have a friend who knows all your deep dark secrets and reveal it to someone
love?
... if your friend calls your parents in the middle of the night just to tell them what a bitch you are and tell 'em she'll look after you and make sure you won't take the wrong path then will ask you to cut school and drink the next day?
... if your friend borrows clothes from you then tell your other friends how funny you dress the other night?
... if your friend steals from you?
... if your friend copy your style, the way you speak, the way you dress, your stuff and all in her other friends?
... if your friend wanted to steal your boyfriend?
... if your friend gave you a gift on your birthday and found out later on that she stole it from someone?
... if your friend acts like she didn't intend to break/drop on the floor your brand new gadgets?

She's despicable. Loathsome. A monster.

I wonder what's behind her wickedness...
and how she still got us after all.

$$$$$

Sunday, November 8, 2009

8:33 PM

I just hate it when mom rants about money!!!
Sobrang nakakainissss....

I'm trying my best to think of small businesses or rackets to earn extra money... pero wala talaga. ang hiirap magsimula. :| hay nako. :(

Good day but not a good night =|

Thursday, November 5, 2009

8:53 AM

Hello, blog! I missed you. Been busy with Plurk and Twitter lately. I love getting into those stuff. It makes me release whatever's inside my head and what I feel about some shenanigans. I feel more expressive and socially relevant 'coz someone actually cares of what I post.

Anyways, today was a good-bad day. Lemme tell you 'bout the good things first..

GOOD BECAUSE..
1. I had a hasle-free enrollment a while ago.
2. I had a great laugh and a great tasting coffee at Starbucks with my Tambaymates.
3. I finally paid my Kuromi Mug through GCash.
4. I feel good about my gily formal look -black turtle neck && curly hair.
5. Saw my brother @ the bank he's working at.
6. Saw my new dream phone.. SAMSUNG STAR. :) Inspiration! I SHOULD WORK HARRRDD!

BAD BECAUSE...
1. Had a major stomachache and no one was here to take care of me for 3 long hours of pain.
2. Dags went home very very late.
3. Super sensitive people just don't understand things. :|
4. Slappy is really really sick. I hope she's not dying.
5. Mom is nagging about money and Fitness First AGAIN. :|
6. I don't like the ulam.
7. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now. Especially to the person standing right beside me.
8. I just hate this night! :((

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Now I feel like crying. :(

Random thoughts!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

3:04 AM

Hello, bloggie! I missed you! :)

Today was a good day. I'm starting to TWITTER. Don't get jealous, bloggie. It's not even fun. I like you more. :D

I just finished editing videos. Whew. I'm so proud of myself for not cramming for the whole week. :D Okay lang that sometimes I finish late like 1am, at least unlike the other who finishes by 3am or worse di natatapos. Basta, I'm loving myself for being back to my "responsible" being.

We videoed ourselves last night && it was SWEET. nakakaaliw lang. ♥♥♥

Anyway, yeah, I think they're right about me being "lutang" foe the past days. I dunno. Magulo lang talaga ang mundo ko nun. Masyadong madaming iniisip. Pero ang kaguluhan sa utak ko ay wala na. :))))) Hahaha. Walaaaa naaaaaa. PERIOD.

I can't wait for sembreak. Tagaytay, here we come! ♥

Ay namimiss ko na pala barkada ko. Sana uminom kami :P

LSS

Thursday, October 15, 2009

10:27 PM

I fyou wanna play it like a game..
then come on, come on let's play
`coz i`d rather waste my life pretending
than have to forget you for 1 whole minute..

lalalalalala...

ay kawawa..

Monday, October 12, 2009

6:07 AM

Lagi na lang akong may sakit :(

What is happening to me??

Good thing I have my baby with me.. she takes care of me all the time ♥
I love you baby!

OH YEAH! :)

Friday, October 9, 2009

6:28 PM

WE WON FIRST PLACE!!!!

YOU DON`T KNOW HOW HAPPY AND PROUD I AM!! :) :) :)

WE'RE NOT CHAMPIONS, WHO CARES? WE`RE NOT LIKE THOSE NURSING STUDENTS WHO STARTED PRACTICING LAST MAY. WE STARTED AUGUST, WE HAD MAJOR PROBLEMS, WE DID NOT EVEN HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRACTICE THE WHOLE ROUTINE, WE HAD MAJOR PROBLEMS ABOUT OUR COSTUME, OUR ENTRANCE WAS IMPROMPTU AND STILL, WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!!!

I'M SO PROUD OF MY DANCERS AND I`M PROUD OF MYSELF AS WELL. I NEVER THOUGHT I`D BE ABLE TO HANDLE ALL THE PRESSURE TO THINK THAT MAJOR PROBLEMS WAS LEFT BEFORE ME. OH MY, I`M JUST SO HAPPY!

THANK YOU, FATHER GOD! YOU ARE GREAT! THERE IS NO ONE LIKE YOU! ALL PRAISE AND GLORY WE OFFER TO YOU! :) THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!!

Scared of the possibilities.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

6:16 PM

I just found out that there is a possibility I`ll get Bell`s Palsy after what happened to me yesterday. The left half of my face ached so much and after a while, some parts of it began to numb. But it was just temporary. Like it happened for 4 hours or so. But I`m still scared of the possibilities that if it happened again, it might be worse.

Doctor says it might be because of stress, viral infection or the weather. And I really don`t know which of those made it happen. It could be because of stress for I always sleep late and our cheer dance made me really really stressed out for the past few weeks. It could also be viral infection `coz I think I have sinusitis. It could also be because of the weather, `coz it`s so unpredictable... hot then cold then hot again. So I really don`t know what to do. I am restricted with a lot of things. I can`t smoke, can`t stay up late,can`t use the computer for a long time,can`t stay in front of electric fans or aircons, can`t shower with cold water at night and the list goes on.

Crap.

Please Lord, don`t let it happen again. :|

Alone we help big, together we can help bigger.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

6:34 PM

Ondoy left a really really big problem in our country. It was a huge disaster. Many people was affected by it, including us. But I`m still thankful we`re all okay. No one was hurt in the family. I feel sad though for some of my friends who do not have their homes now. I empathize.

My barkada, daga and I decided to help and have a different kind of bonding. We went to Victory Ortigas, Kapuso Foundation and Sagip Kapamilya and help in repacking goods. It was fun especially when you have your friends with you. :)

The next day, I went to school to repack again and donate some goods. We finished repacking at around 1pm and volunteered to go to San Juan Arena to repack again. Some of my classmates also participated. So we went to the Arena by 1:30 pm and then repackedd the goods. We were able to repack 1000 goods in 1 hour. :) By 2:30, we were asked to go with Mayor JV, the mayor of San Juan to distribute the goods in 2 baranggays - Brgy. Batis and Little Baguio. My gossssh, there were a loooooooot of people! We finished 7pm in distributing the goods. It was exhausting, really. But it was worth all the effort for we were able to help a lot of people. :)

it felt really good afterwards. Like you just completed a mission. :)

Masscomm roll out!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

9:45 AM

I'm so proud and happy! ♥

To all my dancers, thank you, thank you, thank you for the cooperation and for giving your best in every practices! I know sobrang pagod na kayong lahat doing the routines every single night but still, you give your best in every practices. Super thank you! I'm just so happy! Guys, whatever happens, I will always and forever be proud of you! I know how you guys work hard for this. Puyat, pagod, pera... lahat yan binibigay niyo and I know super laki ng sakripisyo nating lahat. Thank you for the effort and the energy! I'm super proud of you all! Konting tiis na lang...Girls, more energy, more fun di ba? Kaya natin to!

To our BOYS.. pinaka macho naming LIFTERS... thank you so so much! We'll never make it without you guys! Ang galing niyo! Proud ako sa inyo! Super thank you! Lakas pa! :) kaya niyo yan! :)

To the PEP and PEP LEADERS! :) Thank you so much for your patience and efforts! You guys are great dancers at singers pa! Remember guys, you are IMPORTANT. Kung wala kayo, wala kaming cheers. Wala kami without you guys. Thank you so much! :) Blue and orange go fight! :)

To Ms. B... WE LOVE YOU!!! Thank you po for all the help and for never letting us down. Thanks for the guidance and for the effort po to go to Turon just to check on us if we're doing fine. Thanks po sa lahat ng support and for being very approachable.

To all Masscomm professors, thanks for making us feel we're the greatest! Thank you po for all the support and love. :)

To the ALUMNI, haaaaaaaay. We admire your dedication and love for the society. Lahat po ng pagalit, sermons and comments niyo naappreciate namin. :) I know how much you love the society kaya niyo po yun ginagawa. Thanks for all the support and the help! And thank you po for always pushing us to do better. :) Idol po namin kayong lahat. :)

To the PLAYERS, thank you sa pagnuod samin at pag cheer! We will do our best para sainyo! Thanks for the support! Magaling kayong lahat! :) Love namin kayo! :)

To MASSCOMM OFFICERS... sobrang thank you for the support! HEAVEN, thanks sa lahat lahat and sa pagaasikaso samin. You rock! PAM, alam mo na yun.. Thank you! Sobrang laking tulong nun samin! :)

To PROPS PEOPLE! My gosssssh! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ganda ng boxes! :) Wala akong masabi.. the best kayo! :)

At syempre pa, to our COACHES... ATE ROSIE, ATE LOVE and KUYA RON. :) Forever and ever and ever thank you! Hindi niyo po kami pinabayaan.. :) I know you guys are very very busy pero andyan po kayo for us. Ate Rosie, thank you sa lahat ng sacrifices mo. :) Super thank you!!!

LORD! THANK YOU! THERE IS NO ONE LIKE YOU!

TO THE WHOLE MASS COMMUNICATION SOCIETY, kahit anong mangyari, we are all winners! :) Maraming maraming salamat po sa lahat. :) Blue and orange go fight!!!

-Paula Soriano :)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

10:18 PM

We sucked yesterday in the dry run. :| But it's okay and understandable coz we just finished the entire routine the night before. And we didn`t even got the chance to run it through as a whole. So yeah, we could this. I believe we could. Through God, we could. :)

I am soooooooooooooo tired. I am glad I have this one whole day rest today. Plus, sunday is always family day, so it`s relieving spending some of my time with my family. and with my baby of course. :)

I have this pain in my knee.. I think I lost my balance while dancing and something went wrong with my knee joints. Now I can`t dance properly.. and can`t even jump. Hala. I have so many injuries na. And my dancers got injuries na din.. the competition is a week away. hayhayhay.

MASSCOMM IT'S OUR YEAR!

Yeah, I hope it's our year this time. :)

KAINIS

Sunday, September 6, 2009

7:30 AM

A very gloomy sunday.

Nasayang lang lahat ng oras ko. Di ako nakapag victory, di ako nakapunta sa papa ko, di ako nakapagshoot, di ako nakapag gym.. in short walang nangyari.

Sobrang depressed ako sa nangyari sakin kahapon. :( Di ap din ako makaget over.

At ngayon naman naiinis ako. Kasi putangina! Lagi na lang akong parang tangang kumakausap sa sarili ko.

ako:"anong ginagawa mo dyan?"

siya: . . .

ako: ano ba gagawin mo?

siya: . . .

ako: ano yan?

siya: . . . .

ako: gusto mo?

siya: . . . .

ako: anong gagawin?

siya: . . . . . .

ang cute di ba?

parang tanga lang ako lagi.. take note medyo yung mga iba dyan 3-4 times ko pang inuulit tanungin pero wala pa din akong nakukuhang sagot minsan.

hay buhay.

The most F-ing incident

Saturday, September 5, 2009

7:01 AM

='(

This is, by far, the biggest disappointment of my entire studying life. We almost failed our thesis which we have been doing and giving so much effort for 2 fucking years. I just don`t understand how, for the 4th time that we defended our study, we will fail on our FINALS pa. I don't mean to brag, but come on, for the past defenses that we had, we received GOOD and even AWESOME comments from our panelists. But today, everything just fucked up.

I really can`t believe it actually happened. For all I know, the night before the defense, me and my partner were studying REALLY hard and even practicing our presentation. We were READY. We have never understood our study this much. Before, we used to question things about our thesis, but that night, we know the answers to whatever's the panelists gonna ask us.

I guess it`s true that we need 99% luck than 99% hardwork. A new chairman of the panel was assigned to us. We have never met her before. We do not even know her name. That old motherfucker fucked us up real bad. She asked too many questions (which we answered, btw) and even told our adviser that we were disrespectful and we lack humility. So she did not give us any grade. Imagine, we were at school from 7am-6pm and we got nothing.

She was the meanest and heartless woman I've ever met. Me and my partner were just crying the whole day, wishing things would be better somehow.

And now we are tasked to redo our paper. I can`t believe this is happening to me. :(

Alam ko, with all my heart, we were decent and respectful that time. If she felt that we were not accepting our faults, well, we were just trying to defend our paper. KAYA NGA DEFENSE ANG TAWAG.

Sa akin lang, di porket law professor ka ng UP, lahat ng sasabihin mo tama. KAYA NGA DEFENSE. Wag kang ma-PRIDE. Yun ang mga itinuro samin sa ST. PAUL. Ikaw ang taga labas, ikaw ang magadjust samin. Oo na, maybe we're not as bright as you are, pero we stick to what we believe in and we fight for what we know is right. Kung mali talaga yung mga pinuna mong mali sa paper namin, na nasa CHAPTERS1 & 2, sana thesis 1 pa lang, di na kami pumasa. Chapters 3 & 4 lang ang dinedepensa namin ngayon kaya wag kang mag magaling na as if ikaw lang matalino!